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September 09, 2007, 8:19 pm

Yeah, so, London. Whilst its nice to visit the Capital of our great Country, it's also nice to get out of the place again - if you know what I mean. After 2 nights away from home I was so releived to arrive home on Sunday night to an empty house (she'd gone away to her brothers for the weekend with the kids) and turn on my PS3 and spend the next 5 hours playing Rainbow Six Vegas till 1.00am. Well happy!

Mind you, had I not gone to London, I woud have missed 5 pivotal moments. I like lager, it's one of my favourite fizzy drinks, but I'm a bit of a 'stick with what I know' type bloke. The 2 pubs I generally drink in belong to the same brewery so they might as well be the same pub. But it sells Carling. I like and drink it. Earls Court however serves Carlsberg Export. I've never drank it before. I've seen the adverts and they hate to see it leave and all that. As far as I'm concerned. They can keep the bloody stuff. It was rank. Needless to say, on Saturday we should have normally consumed 5 pints by the time we leave the show, but we only managed one! It was cack!!

Danny Dyer obviously didn't think so. When I nipped out for a cigarette at about 3.00 who did I see throwing up on the fllor right out the front of Earls Court stumbling into his Hummer. Thats right, Danny Dyer. Now, it might not have been the Carlsberg Export but then again, after tasting it (the carlsberg, not his vomit!), it probably was.

But then again, it could have been the incredibly hot curry sauce to accompany my fish and chips which just turned out to be a portion of curry (madras i suspect) which at first taste was quite nice, but after breaking out in a sweat after dipping 5 or 6 chips I decided it was time to leave it. Maybe I should have had mushy peas instead.

Equally though, the thing that set Danny Dyer off like that might have been the sight of the freshly shaven legs attached to a little short tartan miniskirt. I'm not saying the legs were truly disgusting, it was just that they were attached to a body which had a short cropped top on and perched on the shoulders was the head of a man. Yes, a transvestite trying to look sexy and female like, when actually just looked like a bloke in a miniskirt and cropped top. Fair play and all that, but maybe a little foundation and a shave wouldn't have gone amiss.

Now, Alan failed to point out what happened after he took the picture of me with Bumblebbe, probably because he'd walked off but I'm not gonna tell you just yet cos I'm waiting for a photograph to come back from Boots so I'll post it up later in the week.




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